01E10 - I Hate a Mystery

Men of medicine, like the Swamp Rats, are supposed to excel at curing rashes. But, when the rashes are not itchy, red bumps but result in ill-gotten booty (or ill-booten gotty) found in Hawkeye's footlocker, the consequences can be serious. It is no laughing matter when your best friends think you could be a thief, when you are relentlessly pursued by a bush and a malicious P.A. system and needle-nose non-comms count the scalpels faster than you can wield them. Hawkeye is the past master of pranks and immature behavior; no one is really surprised. But, if Hawkeye is telling the truth and he is not playing a joke on the entire camp, then there must be a thief at the 4077. It will take some quick hands to beat Hotlips and her Court Martial forms...