07E04 - Baby Not on Board

While on duty at the Mini-Mart, Chris asks Peter for some advice about his sexuality, but Peter - ignoring the fact that his son has asked him a question - decides that he is being sexually harassed and threatens to sue. The store owner responds by giving Peter a coupon redeemable for free gasoline for a year. Lois decides that the family should go on a vacation to Grand Canyon. As the Griffins are packing up to leave, a sleep-famished Stewie wanders from his car seat and goes into the house to sleep. Everyone fails to notice that Stewie is not in the car - he has been left home alone. As the other Griffins partake in road-trip activities - such as singing Bette Midler's "The Rose" and engaging with Glenn in a road rage incident - Stewie frolics around the house, doing whatever he pleases. When the Griffins arrive at the site of the 9/11 attacks in New York City, Lois finally sees that Stewie is not in the car and must have been left behind at home. Lois calls Quagmire and Cleveland to go check on Stewie, but Stewie mistakes them (at first) for burglars and subdues them; when he discovers who his victims are, Stewie decides to shackle them anyway in the basement ... then make them watch the 24-hour DirecTV Help channel. Stewie then eats all the food in the house and, lacking money to buy more food, gets a job at McBurger Town; his job is short-lived, however, when his boss discovers he tried to eat free food on the job. When Lois doesn't hear back from Quamire or Cleveland, she insists that Peter drive home to get Stewie. On the way home, Peter - while driving - is distracted by a television screen in a passing vehicle and (somehow) sneaks into that car to watch the movie; as a result, the Griffins car runs off the road. The Griffins try to buy train tickets to get home, but when Peter wastes their remaining money on useless items, Lois becomes very angry. As she and Peter get into a huge argument, Brian is able to hitch a ride with a motorist, and the Griffins arrive home safely to reunite with Stewie. However, Peter is unable to find Quagmire or Cleveland, who are still trapped in the basement and ... by now, are reciting trance-like the entire spiel as aired on DirecTV's help network. In the closing seconds, Cleveland remarks about the upcoming spin off built around his character, "The Cleveland Show" (which is scheduled to premiere on Fox in 2009).